I thought times were bad, times were rough, economic hardship will not lighten up in the next few years, we are in a recession, many stores and companies are going bankrupt and out of business, blah blah blah.  Let me tell you, things can't be that bad.  For those of you that haven't been keeping up with my life, I have two jobs.  One of which is at a health insurance firm.  The largest in the state.  The second is at the world's largest watch retailer.  These are HUGE corporations!  Since January, our department has lost 3 long term employees, who went to various competitors in order to get paid more.  So the job market cant' be THAT bad.  People must be hiring still if they can afford to leave?!  At the second job, we went from a staff of 12 full time sales-staff + 3 part timers to 5 full timers and 2 part timers.  Where is everybody going?  And if everybody is finding better jobs, why can't somebody take me with them? 

Clearly I have some problems with job satisfaction.  I've learned that a person cannot be successful without jumping and overcoming the fear of risk.  My whole life though, has been nothing but taking the safe path.  I've never believed in working on commission, I don't lease cars, I save money, put it away in 401k plans and mutual funds, I never gamble or make bets on sports, etc etc.  And how is my life? I have settled into mediocrity.  I am satisfied.  I am good at what I do and I am undercompensated for it.  However, it's still better than what the 'average' person is getting by with so do I have the right to complain?  I have everything that I want or need.  But I have no risk.  And I think that makes me boring.  Where is the danger?  Where is the excitement?  Where is the new opportunity that will make my life exhiliarating instead of exhausted?  I'm tired of being stable.  I'm a LEO.  Sometimes I feel like I have to break out of my own skin.  Life is a big question mark for me right now.  I'm hoping it will change once this year is over.  So here's to putting my head down and taking all the shit for 11 more months.. .   

As you know, the newly single Will is in not in any kind of position to be talking to girls mainly because:

1) He is still freshly broken up with a girl that he has been with for 3 years
2) He is severly overweight, so much that his own Grandmother called him OBESE
3) He works way too much, sleeps way too little, and looks like shit half the time he's awake
4) He drinks more than he should, eats at weird hours of the day, and goes to the worst kinds of places to hang out
5) He has lingering debt from living in California and living like a rockstar, and also from his excessiveness in material goods. 

But, overall, deep inside, there is the Will that is always striving for excellence while struggling with his own true identity.  A Single Will is a lot different from a Relationship Will.  There needs to be some sort of balance though.  So, Will has decided to start reading this book that he ordered awhile back, called 'The Simple Living Guide"  Apparantly it should provide guidance as to how he may live a more purposeful life. 

Will still likes girls though, and there have been some that have tickled his fancy.  Unfortunately because of reasons 1-5 it does not seem proper at this time for Will to even think about having a chance with a person of the opposite sex because frankly, Will doesn't even like looking at himself in the mirror in the mornings. 

So we are back to ground zero.  I told myself that after Jan 5, I would start doing things a lot different.  Time to kick myself in the ass and stop feeling mopey.  Here's to a successful 2009. 

Ughh, remind me not to go into the sun during the day.  I went with my coworker to pick up food at high noon today and it felt like my skin was going to melt off its bones.  The sun just beat me down.  I am thankful that I am enclosed in an A/C environment at the office. 

Just a couple things.  My brother turned 30 yesterday.  We attended a big dinner for him at Chibo.  Food was awesome, just a bit rich.  I had some serious stomach issues last night.  Went over and checked out his brand new 3 bedroom apt at Capital Place.  All I gotta say is dayamn.  I aspire to live like my brother.  All I have to do is give up modifying cars and buying stupid shit.  I think I can do it. 

Ever wonder how people manage to live on low incomes and yet you are making like double some people's salary and you are struggling?  Uh yeah, I think about that all the time.  It is the 'make more spend more theory'.  If I had no existing debt, I figure I could survive on making very little a year. . In fact.  I could live off of making 2000 a month, which is approximately only about 30K a year.  HAH!  But you know what?  My ass makes a lot more than that, because I want/desire a lot of stupid things.  Shoes, Watches, Gadgets, Videogames, Cars, absorb my life.  My significant other possesses similar desires.  It is BAD. 

I have not been successful at even bringing home lunch for an entire month.  Maybe one week, then its totally out the window.  No more!  As you Xanga peeps will be my witness, I am going to go through with this. 

1) Bring home lunch, do not eat during my second job, drink a smoothie for dinner when I get off my other job.  This begins today through the day I go to Japan. 

2) There is no need to buy shirts, ties, suits, shoes.. .  I have enough. 

3) I have way too much shit.  Get rid of shit you don't use.  Craigslist will be my friend. 

4) I need to get in shape.  This requires a mere 30-45 minutes a day. Not hard to do.  I have all the tools at home.  Just need to use em. 

ok, now that I have determined my goals.  I expect people that have read this xanga to help me do this.  MUST ... CONQUER THIS MATERIALISM.